He ran until his Paws hurt

[scytheandserpent]

 It was one of those nights. He sat on his balcony, meditating. The sun had set an hour ago. The crisp autumn air stung on his skin as he thought about his crush. And how would he tell him how he felt? He could use some help, but he didn't want to be a wimp... He wanted to do it himself. But there was a problem. 

In this world, it wasn't unheard of being an ''Animal Hearth'' as they called them. But it was more than being an animal at heart; it was being an animal within. And with deep meditations and connections to one's animal self, they could turn into the animal, soar the skies, explore the deep abyss of the ocean, or run within the darkness of the woods. But it needed a lot of work to get the animal under control. And it wasn't good to speak about it, especially if you weren't a ''normal earth animal”. And he wasn't..

He took a deep breath in when he heard the balcony door open. He turned to look there, seeing the familiar face of his younger brother. 
''Aren't you cold out here?'' He scoffed playfully, holding a duvet in his hands. 
''No, not really.'' The older brother said. 
''Well, I brought you a blanket anyway.'' He said. 
''Thanks, Nour.'' He took the duvet and wrapped it around his shoulders. The softness of the purple and black bat duvet felt good on his hands. 

They were silent. The older brother gazed at the starry sky through the closed balcony windows. Nour broke the silence. 
''Deus, you should just let him know.'' He said in a soft and gentle, but stern voice. 
"I know... but I'm afraid. What would he think if he knew I wasn't just a fox, but..." He fell silent, feeling his twin tails begin to form. 
''He will accept you. You know how he is.'' Nour sighed. ''You know him better than anyone else here. Hell, you know him better than of our whole group!'' 
Deus fell in silence. He could feel his snout, ears... Paws. Fur. 

''Open the window for me.'' He said. ''I want to go for a run.'' 

''Don't try to run over the Atlantic again, okay?'' Nour chuckled, opening the window for him. ''You know night won't allow you.'' 

"I know," Deus said, biting back a growl as he leaned forward. It wasn't his first time facing Revo, but it was his first time jumping from the balcony. 

''Be careful.'' Nour said. 

Deus nodded as he turned into a black, twin-tailed fox on the balcony. He was bigger than an ordinary fox, and his tails sparked with green and pink fire, as it lit his fur in beautiful aurora greens, pinks, and purples. He hopped a few steps before backing away to the back wall of the balcony, taking a few jumps, his fur sparkled with a white wave, then getting the beautiful aurora shade. He ran in the air, and with the woosh of his tail, he painted the skies with auroras more beautiful than ever before. But those auroras held deep sorrow.   

He could hear the people's voices from below. 

''Wow! Look at that!''

''How?! There are no reports of Sun storms!''

''Stop looking at your phone and look up!'' 

Deus felt everything at once. He felt deep sorrow. He felt deep happiness. He felt anger, embarrassment... He wanted to cry, to scream, to shout. So he screeched. Screamed. It sounded like a human... His scream echoed to the skies. His anger felt burning, his sadness clouded his eyes. He screamed again. He screeched again and again and again in frustration. He ran towards the full moon that shone in the sky. He screamed again, this time at the moon while he jumped from cloud to cloud. From wish to wish. He wanted to run so much further. He wanted to run away from these feelings. He never had a chance to feel them, other than as Revo. To scream at the moon. To scream in the skies because nowhere else was it ''appropriate'' to scream in pure emotion. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to weep. Instead, he hopped higher and higher, until it felt like he could touch the moon... He stopped running, feeling the gravity taking hold of him, and he began falling down. Back down to earth. Back to the dark autumn night of Finnish skies. 

He reached for the moon, growling as he spun around, continuing to run and color the skies with his tail. He painted in beautiful healing green, strengthening magenta, and bright wisteria purple, but the strong colors correlated differently in him. The mix of green and purple was a cry for help. The Magenta was his romantic, drowned feelings. He wasn't in the end afraid of what his crush would say. He was afraid of what he might do if he had a chance. How toxic would he be again? How would he behave? How would he destroy yet another...?

He let out a scream. He needed to work out these emotions. He would need to talk about them, journal about them, do some inner work... Before he could even think about telling about his feelings. He needed to sort himself out first. He kept his head high, tears running down his face. His heart ached from the thought, so he screamed again. He wanted so badly, but couldn't get it. For one... It would be so far away. His crush lived in America... He lived in Europe. He had too high hopes. Or so it felt. He wanted to just run across the Atlantic, to get to... But he couldn't. The night didn't allow him. He could try to run within the night, but it wouldn't be a fast trip... It would take hours. He would take the chance if he had the energy, but right now, he could be in this form, as Revo, running in the skies for 7 hours. It wouldn't be enough on any level, even though it was further from his half an hour, which he started with. 

He cried in the sky, running faster and faster, so fast his paws hurt... Yet he didn't stop for a second. He kept painting the skies, and as he finally stopped to rest on the roof of a high building, he noticed it. The tens of thousands of hearts floating in the skies, some already slightly fading. He wanted to cry more... Because he didn't feel worth it. 

He returned home... Hopping to the balcony, where Nour was still sitting with a cup of hot chocolate...